The experience of motherhood in young and adulthood varies. We
look at ourselves differently, at our duties and at the help that close to us. The older we are, the more clearly we understand what we need and what we are not ready for.
I am the mother of two children with a big, more correctly, a huge difference in age. The eldest was born in student youth, the younger appeared at 38. This event allowed me to take a fresh look at the questions related to motherhood. For example, in touch between prosperous parenthood and the presence of high -quality and timely assistance.
Let me be angry, this topic is really problematic. Assistants, if they are, instead of being with a family or woman in the way she needs, actively offer their own. Of the best motives, relying on their own ideas about the needs of young parents.
Pushed out of the house “take a walk”, while mom wants to sit comfortably for tea. Without demand, the floors begin to wash, and the family is dull to their next visit. They grab out of the hands of the baby and shake so that he cries all night.
After sitting with the child for an hour, they moan for an hour, how hard it was. Help turns into an unpaid debt. Instead of a baby, you have to feed someone else’s pride and imitate gratitude. This is an abyss instead of support.
If you conduct archaeological excavations of emotions, you can find a lot of ideas pushing the “newborn” mother into this abyss: “gave birth-tolerate”, “everyone coped, and you can do it somehow”, “your child needs only you”, “what is it”, “whatyou wanted?” and others. Such a set of ideas exacerbates the isolation and makes you rejoice at any help, without stuttering that it is some kind of wrong.
I will share the main knowledge gained in mature motherhood: it is impossible to grow a child alone without losing health. Especially the baby (although with adolescents it is so difficult that sympathetic nearby are critical).
The well -being of newborn parents directly depends on the number of adequate adults nearby. Adequate, that is, those that observe their boundaries, respect desires and hear needs. They are aware that they are dealing with people in a special state of consciousness: with aggravated anxiety, stunning due to torn sleep, configured to the baby with a supersensitivity accumulated by fatigue.
They understand that their help is a voluntary contribution to the mental health and bodily well -being of mom and baby, and not a victim, a loan or heroism. Are nearby because it corresponds to their values, because they are pleased to see the fruits of their labors, because from this they have warmth in their souls.
I now have such adults nearby, and my gratitude has no boundaries. Compare and understand how healthy my mature parenthood is healthier.